amo na ini. explanation. di ko na matake. di na natutuhay tak studs. di na natutuhay tak life. patches la, nagiging emo na ak.. tsk.. btw, i'm not angry.

for the information of everyone, i don't take things for granted--esp. when it is very important to me, like research. but yes, as a person, an imperfect person, i admit --i have flaws, i have mistakes, i have bad sides.

i just read something, and somehow i got affected by it. i know, it's been long, we've been friends.

here's the deal with what happened on that very sad day (for me):

saturday, sept.15. acet day. on the night of that day we were supposed to have an overnight at jim's for that very importang something. my parents didn't permit me to. i was so sad. i really wanted to go there. all my other research group mates were there-- except poor old me.how lucky. i envied them, really. i tried to assert that i'd go there, but they didn't permit. i know they have a list of reasons why. and i'm tired of hearing those reasons over and over again. (i can't blame them, they're my parents).

but what happened here was already out of my control. my parents didn't permit me. for a lot of times i've already disobeyed them. i quarelled with them just so i could get what i wanted, and what my friends wanted and expected of me. i've grown tired of all those long preaches w/c they gave me everytime i committed something wrong against them. and just for this once, i contained myself not to.

i admit, yes, i overslept the following day. and it was my fault. and yes, i'm really sorry for that. but the fact of the matter here is that my dad let me do some stuff first before i was actually permitted to leave the house. so that was why i went there in the afternoon.just in the afternoon.

i could not comprehend how i became a nobody to you. i knew something was wrong. and soon enough, i found out.

all i can say now is that i'm sorry for my mistakes. i know i'm not perfect. i have a lot of flaws in me. but please do hear my side.

what's in my head right now is that, "what happened to our friendship?".. i miss you.. and it pains me to see you everyday in school, and yet you don't..

will it ever be restored? :(