before i breakdown and be cold to everyone else, AGAIN, let me get things out of my system.

today started out terribly wrong.

first off, i slept at around 5 am. and since my body seems to be demanding more sleep nowadays, i overslept. i woke up at 10 am, which meant i had already cut my english class. since i had a paper due that period, i ran to the bathroom and took a shower. by the time i had finished prepping for school, it was five minutes before the 2nd bell for lit class. great.

walking to ctc isn't supposed to be long--if not much people are around. bumping to other people is kind of embarrassing and stupid, so i had to be keen as to which way i go, therefore delaying myself to class. i arrived in english, to my surprise, with our ____ teacher still there. i went up to yoni and she said i'd better hurry and pass my paper. without hearing another word, i rushed back from the 3rd floor to the first floor to have my paper printed. (i am in dire need of a printer. life would have been easier and acad requirements would have been cheaper if one had his own printer!!!! imagine NOT going to rmt/ctc/business center, and lining up, paying P4 or P5/page just to get your papers printed--a LOT EASIER and MORE CONVENIENT)

so there, i had to endure the crawling internet speed of the computer (apparently, the only computer available at that time was a snail). i would've caught up wiith our teacher if only i got hold of a lightning (or better yet, if i had my usb back. *note to self: snatch back the usb that my brother took from me). so by the time i had downloaded the file, the line had already become long. so i had to wait.

once i got my paper, i rushed out of the computer room and i figure our teacher had gone back to her office since i saw less people around, meaning classes had started. i decided not to cut lit, so i rushed back to our room; the class had already started indeed (but it's no big deal if you're late in lit, unless there's a seatwork or quiz. our prof is very generous). i sat beside yoni and told her my bad experience back in the first floor. then, with utter hesitation, she told me our teacher wouldn't accept any late papers. DAMN IT.

all throughout lit class i tried not to think about it but i'd usually space out, even with the heat of the rather interesting mini-debate that sprouted from mike's belief, or rather non-belief, in catholic teachings. i'd usually end up with a tear on the left eye, followed by another on the right. this happened several times, and everytime it happened, i'd wipe them away. i didn't want our lit prof to take notice of my shallowness, but it couldn't be helped that yoni saw. :|

by the end of lit class, i broke down. i couldn't hold back the tears, which was STUPID---crying over spilt milk. :| but that meant all my effors were put to waste! i slept at that early hour to get that effin' essay done. i didn't get to really study math for our long test because of that. fine, blame me for having done it that late but even if i had the info. needed earlier, i still would've done it at that time, given the conditions i had this week. i also blame the weather, it's freakin' hot; it's very stressful. why don't we all just plant trees? and stop cutting them down like the ones did by the government on katipunan ave!?? why don't we just take care of the environment?

so there, i broke down. just then, my blockmates in math came in. some saw me crying, which i didn't intend 'coz i realized COLLEGE STUDENTS MUSTN'T CRY (at least in class/public. high school is over, afterall. being the youngest in the block must neither be an excuse). no matter how rational that thinking may be, that's how i see it. anyway, i started that math long test with a bad mood. i tried to really focus but to no avail, at least not that much. so i don't expect to be part of the "hall of fame" thing again for that LT. thanks to that little stuffed toy, at least in a way, it lightened my mood before the exam, especially since it looked like a husky ('coz i want one!), or was it really a husky? anyway, thanks kathy.

i just had to get these out of me before fil class. at least now, i can focus. no more "there goes my efforts--wasted, and with an aching head because of the short sleep+stress." (or at least not that much).